Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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