I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
