Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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