It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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