at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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