Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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