If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
