i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
