Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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