Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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