I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
