Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dick very happy bro
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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