I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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