I need help removing her.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
