Betty ford says i'm here all night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
