I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
