good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
home. puking in laundry basket.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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