i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
