We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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