it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
