I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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