Pappa wants mamma naked
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
