I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
