it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
