I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize