I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
