9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
