Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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