need another drink. this is the easiest way
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
