Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
