Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
