You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
