so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
