Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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