HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why do cheetos always look like penises
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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