We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
