Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
