I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
