how can u be prego again
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
