Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't turn off my feet"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
