he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
