I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
