She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
