his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
