you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
did you just send me my own nude
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
