He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
