put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
