If i come over, it means nothing
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
