is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
