Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
