He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
