I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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