So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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