I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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